7 july 2025

last night i had an anxiety dream.

a large bodied spider came after me

while i was naked under the sheets.

i rolled out of bed. and landed on the floor.

yield, february 3rd 1998/2022

 

"I believe the future is only the past again, entered through another gate."

~ Arthur Wing Pinero "The Second Mrs. Tanqueray", 1893

wiltern feb 2002

won't someone help me quick/i'm down and i'm feeling sick/there's just too much of my head that's showin'/god, if you won't help me/then help me, help me/cause I'm not exactly sure where I'm goin' --

if it's monday morning, beck, vedder, & mike ness

on 'licorice pizza'

wosney lambre @BigWos

...yes, these things we would find to be abhorrent, like an old dude getting in a u-haul truck, and purposefully grazing this young woman's tits and not thinking anything about it. like, it's fucked up, but it happened all the time, and we survived. it wasn't the bad guys...that's what he's saying with the movie. shit like that used to happen and guess what...you get up in the morning and we do whatever the fuck we had to do that day. that's what he's doing with the movie. it's look guys i get it...microaggressions and all this other shit it ruins your fucking day now. but in the seventies, your tit might get touched...an older woman might give you a hand job...and, guess what, we're fine. it's ok. move on with this shit. that's what i feel is happening in this movie. 

miss gillian howard welch was just a little deadhead #gdts #nye #wreckingball #souljourney

 

this is your mind on plants, michael pollan

 Don Victor on trauma -- 

"when any part of your body has been affected by destructive energies or trauma, the heart will close down to protect itself. a closed heart will not heal. it will not express its feelings. the mind becomes more active because the heart's not feeling anymore. the mind will go into the past or it will go into the future, which doesn't really exist, and it will get stuck in a chaos, between remembering the past and trying to go into the nonexistent future. and it will lose the gift of life, which is to live and be present in thee moment. that is why the word for a gift in spanish is presente." 

wachuma locates and unblocks the dense energies of trauma so that the mind might quiet and the heart might speak again, returning us to the gift that is the present moment.